Gnarl Nhom Nhom Nhom

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Gnarl Nhom Nhom Nhom

Mensagem  gnarl em Ter Jul 20, 2010 3:19 am

Gnarl Likes to Eat, Gnarl will teach orc recipes!

Fried Elf Testicle Recipe



1 pound ov testicles*
1 cup ov beer
1 egg, beaten good!
3/4 cup ov flour
1/8 cup ov yellow cornmeal
A little salt and ground black peppa
Vege oil**
1 tablespoon hot peppa sauce
Some ov dem papa towel dings.

* Ya can use Elf or Dwarf testicles. Dwarf testicles are da size of a walnut and are more tenda dan da slightly larga Elf testicles. Squeamish humans can use Calf or Bull testicles if dey want.

** Use 'nough oil ta cova da testicles, ba fill your frying containa only halfway ta da top ta keep dem from bubbling ova or splattering ya.

Wit a sharp knife, split da tough thin muscle dat surrounds each testicle. Remove da skin (you can remove da skin easy if da testicles are frozen and den ya peel while thawing). Slice each testicle inta thick ovals. Toss da slices in a bucket ov beer and let'em sit far 2 hours.

In a shallow bowl, mix da eggs, flour, cornmeal, salt and peppa. Remove testicles from beer; drain and dredge thoroughly in da flour mix. Ina large, deep pot, heat da oil to 375°F. Deep fry 3 ta 4 minutes or until golden brown (will rise ta da surface when done). Drain on da papa towels.


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Re: Gnarl Nhom Nhom Nhom

Mensagem  gnarl em Ter Jul 20, 2010 4:11 am

"Orc Chicken"

Ingredients:
1 whole chicken (plucked and headless) or ya can also use a duck, turkey, eagle, swan, etc...
about 1/8 cup vegetable oil
about 1/4 cup salt
about 1/4 cup black pepper
about 1/4 cup of brown sugar (or use your favorite dry spice rub)
1 small metal stein of beer (or 1 open can of beer)


Directions:


Fire-up a very hot grill.

Remove neck and giblets from chicken and put to side. (see photo #1) Rinse chicken inside and out with water, and pat dry with clean towel.

Take metal stein full of beer (or open beer can) and take several gulps so that the stein/can is about half full. (You need to do this or the stein/can might explode and kill you - no kidding). Place beer on a flat surface. Plunk the bird cavity over the stein/can. (see photo #2)

Rub chicken with oil then rub inside and out with salt, pepper, brown sugar and dry spice rub. (see photo #3) Then do the same with the giblets and neck.

Transfer the bird, with the beer inside, to your grill and place in the center of the grate, balancing it on its 2 legs and the stein/can like a three-legged stool.
Cook the chicken over medium-high, indirect heat (no coals or flames directly under the bird) with the grill cover on, for approximately 1 1/2 hours or until the meat is fall-off-the-bone tender. You can cook the neck and giblets too, but they will be done in less then half that time.

Using tongs and holding a large metal spatula underneath the beer stein/can for support, remove the chicken from the grill. (Be careful not to spill hot beer on yourself!) (see photo #4) Let rest for at least 10 minutes before carving the meat off the upright carcass.

You can use the juices in the stein/can to baste the carved meat or toss it out with the meatless carcass. (see photo #5)

Serves: 2 to 3 Orks, 5 to 7 Goblins, 5 to 6 Hobgoblins, 8 to 12 Gremlins or 4 to 6 humans!

1) Remove neck and giblets.


2) Place chicken over open beer can.


3) Rub chicken with oil and spices.


4) Remove cooked chicken from grill.


5) Toss out the beer can with the carcass

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Dwarf Flesh Stew

Mensagem  gnarl em Ter Jul 20, 2010 7:59 pm


Dwarf Flesh Stew



Ingredients:

2 pounds de-boned Dwarf Flesh * , cut into chunks
1/3 cup flour
1-1/2 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
4 large onions, ripped and shredded
1 clove garlic, slashed and crunched into very very small bits
1/4 cup parsley chopped to bits
1 teaspoon caraway seed
1 bay leaf
1 bole (14 oz.) chicken broth
1 mug (12 oz.) beer
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon packed brown sugar

Coat Dwarf flesh* with combined flour, salt and pepper. Heat oil in warm oven; brown meat over hot stove. Add onions and garlic. Cook and stir 5 minutes. Pour off stinky drippings. Stir in remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil. Cover; cook, stirring occasionally over warm heat 1 to 1-1/4 hours or until the Dwarf flesh is very tender. Stir occasionally.

*Note to squeamish human readers:
Pork may be used instead of Dwarf flesh.
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Re: Gnarl Nhom Nhom Nhom

Mensagem  Conteúdo patrocinado


Conteúdo patrocinado


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